go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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