If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
