You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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