I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
