It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
if only i could text you this smell
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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