I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
