It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
