This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
