i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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