so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
