hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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