the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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