Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
