just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize