we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
