I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
