oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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