Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Drake has all the answers
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
