it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize