seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
