I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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