I need help removing her.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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