That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize