Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i think i just naturally attract stoners
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
