rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
