that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
They have beer where we have blood.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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