You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
