yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
