I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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