So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
