and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
