I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
