Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
