This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
