So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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