So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have fence marks all over my body
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
