I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
even my farts smell like vagina
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
