dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
