and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
