The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
