somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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