He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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