can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
