Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Green mimosas i think yes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
