Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
