I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize