Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
