big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
