i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
