If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
