that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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