Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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