He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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