Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
