im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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