Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
