Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
