His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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