Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
