I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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