he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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